Let's be clear about one thing at the outset: No group of people own a word. Women don't own the c-word, gays don't own the f-word, and Blacks don't own the n-word. Words belong to all of us and we are all responsible for how we use them.
Next, let's recognize that when we use euphemisms to refer to forbidden words, as I have above, we do so in large measure to protect ourselves from accusations of racism, sexism, or whatever. Even though I often do this, it has long struck me as disingenuous. There is absolutely nothing immoral, depraved or insensitive about using a word when referring to it. Using euphemisms is merely a way for me to get you to think about a potentially inflammatory word without having the guts to say it myself. That being the case, I won't be using any more euphemisms in this essay. Stop reading now if that's too much for you.
For over two decades, while I was an Editor at MAD Magazine, I toured the country with my solo show, The Joy Of Censorship, which I performed in 44 states. When I started out in 1993, the show was based on the core principle that censorship of any kind is ultimately doomed to failure. I maintained that there is no better way to ensure the popularity of a book, movie or song than to ban it. The same is true of words. The one surefire way to guarantee that a word continues to have power and appeal is to disallow it.
To bolster my thesis, I cited The Book of Genesis. Adam and Eve were naked and without shame in paradise. Who among us wouldn't sign up for that? But the lure of forbidden fruit was too powerful. It is a curious fact that God is the universe's first censor and an ineffective one at that. I asked: What then makes mere mortals think they are going to succeed at which God Himself has failed?
My program was based on one other core tenant: Censorship is the enemy of comedy. To gauge the health of free speech in any society, check out the vibrancy of its satire. When satire dies, it’s a sure sign that free speech has died as well. I don't imagine that there are many working comedians in Syria. For the working satirist of any color, gender or sexual orientation, no word can be off-limits. I learned that from George Carlin.
During my performances, I used the words "nigger" and "cunt" in front of consistently receptive audiences, which included Blacks and women, without apology. I used those socially unacceptable words mindfully, in context. I railed against New South Books, a publishing house in Alabama that had published a new edition of Mark Twain's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn in which the word "nigger" was replaced with "slave," never mind that the words are not synonymous. What next I wondered: Would the word "cunt" be expunged from Henry Miller's Tropic Of Cancer to be replaced with "pussy." Or if "pussy" was deemed too offensive, might "vajayjay" be acceptable? Would Eve Ensler be changing the name of her famous play to The Vajayjay Monologues?
If video recordings of my performances existed and were archived online, someone who wanted to destroy my reputation could easily assemble a 90-second reel making me look and sound like a racist. It would all be taken out of context. In today's warped environment many would say that the context didn't matter, that no White person under any circumstances is ever allowed to utter that word, and that word only, even when referring to it. In this rigid view, the word is reserved for Black comedians, hip-hop artists and friends to use as a term of endearment. Sorry, non-Black music fans, but singing your favorite hip-hop song may be strictly taboo.
As an ignorant White kid growing up on Staten Island in the 1960s, I learned about racism from comedians. My fearless teachers were Lenny Bruce, Dick Gregory, and Richard Pryor. Lenny Bruce, a comedy maverick if there ever was one, broke boundaries by using racial slurs in the service of exposing and calling out racism. His career and life were destroyed by judges, politicians, cops and clergymen who took offense at his language and perspective. Dick Gregory, who I saw speak at Adelphi University when I was a student, was everything I wanted to be as a humorist. He called his memoir Nigger and in the dedication addressed his late mother, he wrote: “Dear Momma -- Wherever you are, if ever you hear the word ‘nigger’ again, remember they are advertising my book.” Richard Pryor, who to me rivals George Carlin as the most important standup ever, did screamingly funny impersonations of uptight White guys. It was his routine, "Niggers Vs Police,” that gave me a chilling insight into the world of tension between the Black community and cops. If you think of Lenny Lenny Bruce and George Carlin as racists, or Dick Gregory and Richard Pryor as self-hating Blacks, then your moral compass is likely damaged beyond repair.
This brings me to the recent controversy over podcaster Joe Rogan about his past use, more than a decade ago, of the word "nigger." There is no evidence that Rogan used the word pejoratively; he seems to have been quoting Black comedians like Red Foxx, or referring to the word itself. It is worth noting that the most damning part of the video is the one in which Rogan didn't use the offending racial slur at all, but referred to a Black neighborhood as "Planet of the Apes." Rogan knew it was racist the moment he said it. In fact, he said as much on the spot. Nevertheless, the comment has now come back to haunt Rogan, who has rightly apologized. However, he opened his mea culpa by ceding too much ground, stating, "To most people there is no context in which a White person is ever allowed to say that word...and I agree with that now."
Trevor Noah, who I am a big fan of, feels the same way. When reflecting on the Rogan controversy, Noah said, "Here's a life-hack for White people: Saying the actual n-word puts you in unnecessary trouble, especially if you're not racist. It doesn't matter the context." (Obviously, I'm not taking Noah's advice.) Somewhat remarkably, a few minutes later in the same segment, while pretending to be a bank robber, Noah said, "Give me the money, bitch." He used the word without concern for its potent power to offend women. Using his own logic: "Here's a life-hack for men: saying the actual b-word puts a man in unnecessary trouble, especially if he is not a misogynist. It doesn't matter the context." Noah doesn't want a White person to use a racial slur for a Black person in any context, but he has no problem using a chauvinistic slur for women as long as it suits his comedy. He can’t have it both ways.
As a White male, I recognize that there is no word in the English language that can possibly be as hurtful to me as "nigger" to a Black person, or "cunt" to woman. Those words have ugly histories and they have a potent power to cause damage. That needs to be acknowledged and respected.
At the same time, it is undeniable that our language is in a continual state of flux. Words emerge and disappear, seemingly of their own accord, sometimes never to resurface, or to return with an entirely different meaning. Words that were once preferred -- think "Negro" -- are later discarded, while words that were once considered derogatory -- think "queer" -- are later embraced. It is an inconvenient truth then that no matter how well-intentioned, attempting to ban a word -- any word -- is a fool's mission. Like it or not, every word has a life of its own. Even the ones you want to ban.