Photo by Iriving Schild, who probably regrets taking it.
In March of 2016, I received an email from Nicolae Tanase, the founder of “Excellence Reporter,” which he referred to as “the world’s largest ‘Meaning of Life’ e-magazine.” I certainly wasn’t about to dispute the claim. Tanase wrote to me as follows: “I interview leaders, thinkers, writers, researchers, musicians, artists, CEOs, laymen, etc. on the meaning of life. Would you be willing to contribute your thoughts to the Meaning of Life Community? The interview goes very simple: write down your insight on one question: ‘What is the meaning of life?’”
My first thought: Why are you asking me? I checked out Tanase’s website, ExcellenceReporter.com, which was loaded with hundreds of rather serious essays by renowned and esoteric spiritual teachers, shamans, channelers, healers, therapists, and experts in everything from sustainability to Feng shui. There were contributions by Jack Kornfield and Marianne Williamson, not to mention a piece by Mahatma Gandhi, which I would bet was posted without his permission.
Since I first visited the website, Tanase has posted hundreds of additional “meaning of life” essays, including one by a “modern day wizard” (with a hat and everything) who goes by the name Oberon Zell-Ravenheart. I felt compelled to visit his website – and let’s face it, Oberon wouldn’t be much of a “modern” day wizard if he didn’t have a website – at which I found the following biography: “Oberon Zell is a modern Renaissance man. A transpersonal psychologist, metaphysician, naturalist, theologian, shaman, author, artist, sculptor, lecturer, teacher, and ordained Priest of the Earth-Mother, Gaia. Among the many projects he has undertaken in his lifetime, Oberon is one of the founders of the Church of All Worlds, is the first publisher of Green Egg Magazine, the Headmaster of the Grey School of Wizardry, the founder and curator of the Academy of Arcana. Those who know him well consider him to be a true Wizard in the traditional sense.”
In case you are wondering about the Church of All Worlds, it is real and claims to be “one of the oldest incorporated neo-Pagan churches in the United States,” which at the start of 2019 was undergoing its “3rdPhoenix Resurrection,” whatever that is. By the way, their membership fee, last time I checked, was $30 for new members, which will place you in “Circle Two.” However, for each additional $12 you contribute, you are moved to a higher “Circle.” What a deal!
But I digress.
Tanase’s website features philosophical musing by interfaith ministers, ordained ministerial counselors, pastors, professors of neurogenics, Elon Musk and me. “What is the meaning of life?” struck me as a trick question, one that should be approached lightly and with tongue firmly planted in check or not at all.
With that in mind, rather than submitting a standard headshot as I was asked to, I sent a photo of myself dressed as a Viking. (The photo was taken for an outlandish MAD Magazine subscription campaign I created many years ago.) Pushing the envelope further, I changed the question I was asked from “What is the meaning of life?” to “What is the meaning of asking me what is the meaning of life?” Somewhat to my surprise, Tanase posted everything I sent without revisions. Perhaps his standards were nearly as low as mine. Here’s the piece:
What is the Meaning of Asking Me What is the Meaning of Life
Had you asked my favorite philosopher, Alan Watts, “What is the meaning of life?” he would have struck a gong and said, “Let’s leave it at that.” But Alan is dead and, besides, you made the foolish mistake of asking me.
As I sit here tapping away at the keyboard, my cat Bella is asleep and snoring, lying comfortably on my desk. I mention this because Bella clearly doesn’t give a damn about meaning. Bella simply is. But for us humans, finding meaning is a very big deal.
I am reminded of something Henry Miller wrote: “The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.” I imagine that Henry came to that uplifting insight after downing a few bottles of Bordeaux with friends and then spanking Anais Nin. Henry was my kind of Renaissance man.
It is worth noting, however, that the “aim of life” is not synonymous with “the meaning of life.” To have an aim is to have a goal, and Henry’s goal is a desired state of being. Reach the goal and, voilà, you will discover the meaning of life. On the other hand, the Buddhists say the path is the goal. Therefore, there is no place to arrive and no aim necessary. So where does that leave us?
In college, I had a philosophy professor named Dr. Knight, which is truly a wonderful name for a philosophy professor. I took his metaphysics course, which he began by announcing that he would be killing himself after the first class.
Although he didn’t say how he was going to do it, I thought I should alert Dr. Pasotti, the Chairman of the Philosophy Department, of Dr. Knight’s intention. So, I walked down the hall to Dr. Pasotti’s office and told him that Dr. Knight had told us that he was going to commit suicide. Dr. Pasotti leaned back in his chair and said, “That asshole. Again?”
In fact, Dr. Knight did not kill himself and went on to teach quite the provocative metaphysics course. “The meaning of life,” he explained, “may be found in Plato’s Republic or in Suzy’s ass.” A debatable point perhaps, but the only way I could test his hypothesis was to find my way into Suzy’s ass. But alas, I never had the pleasure of meeting Suzy, or visiting Plato’s Republic for that matter. Was I doomed then to a life of meaninglessness?
Of course not, for it would have been a grave mistake to take Dr. Knight’s comment literally. The essential thing he was getting at was that one had to engage in intimate relationship, be it with Suzy, Plato, whatever or whomever, even yourself. Meaning is only found in relationship and in relationship there are no experts.
Dr. Len, a couple’s therapist my wife and I once worked with comes to mind. He was teaching us the Imago technique, which he described as a fool-proof method of empathic listening and communication. “If I knew this method years ago my first marriage never would have broken up,” he said confidently.
A few weeks later Dr. Len informed us that he was shutting down his practice and moving to Seattle because his second marriage had broken up. By the way, my wife and I never mastered the Imago technique and over two decades later we are still together. Go figure.
I should probably say something here about death and the impermanent nature of all things. But I can’t think of anything that hasn’t already been said. For what it’s worth, after I die I would like to be shot out of a cannon and wired to explode in midair, to exit with an actual bang. Unfortunately, I’ve been told that is illegal.
In “Instant Karma” John Lennon asks “why on earth are we here?” and in the next breath declares, “surely not to live in pain and fear.” That seems like a promising starting point, but it’s a negative statement.
Okay, we are not here to live in pain and fear, but why then are we here? Earlier in the song Lennon provides a pretty good answer: “Better recognize your brother’s everyone you meet.” There we are again, back to relationship.
However, the great sage Krishnamurti said, “You are the world.” Well, if you are the world, then there is no one to be in relationship with. No duality. So, while it’s fantastic to “recognize your brother’s everyone you meet,” there is a deeper teaching: You are your brother. Whoa! I’m freaking myself out, man!
I must get myself a gong.